Things always change in your relationship when you get married. I explained the first 3 in part 1 of this blog here
. Here are the next 3. Enjoy!
4. Study must replace novelty.
New relationships have a certain novelty to them. Every little thing feels kind of like a big thing. You are eager to learn about one another’s background, hobbies, interests and dreams. This continues until you feel generally confident you know them. When you marry the novelty is somewhere in your rear view. However, the need to continually get to know your spouse is vital to the well-being of your marriage. This is when you must become a diligent student of your spouse. People are fascinating and virtually inexhaustibly complex. Marriage is a lifelong journey of knowing and appreciating your spouse in an ever deeper way.
5. Relationship skills must replace compatibility.
Compatibility is often thought of as the silver bullet of marriage. Success in marriage is reserved for the compatible, or so it seems. Sure, compatibility in certain areas of life can create easy ways to connect and develop in the relationship. Compatibility may very well usher you happily into married life, however, it takes more than compatibility to go much further. You must develop good relationship skills for marriage to continue in a healthy and God-honoring way. Selflessness, good communication, healthy conflict resolution, active listening and forgiveness would all count as skills you should prioritize.
6. Faith in God must replace your faith in each other.
Relationships in the dating and engagement phases can function relatively well by trusting what you know about each other. You can take a relationship pretty far with a little faith in each other, barring major indiscretions. Marriage however is an altogether different animal. Marriage is predicated on the understanding that you are entering God’s turf. Covenant marriage as it is often called, invites you to approach marriage God’s way, on His terms. In your marriage, the most trustworthy person involved is God, not you and not your spouse. God is the only One who is worthy of you giving your best to your marriage every single day. Faith in your spouse, will always cause you to give less than your best.
Your life cannot and should not stay the same once you’re married. I believe God designed marriage for us and He wants us to experience great things within our marriage. But the more you fight for your life to stay the same, the more you’re fighting against the design of marriage.