"...a quarrelsome wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof. ...but a prudent wife is from the Lord. (Proverbs 19:13, 14 NIV)
As I was reading my Proverb of the day, a practice I've been doing for years, I came across this passage. Usually, it's a reminder of how awful some marriages are and how grateful I am for Amanda
. Yet, I was struck in a very different way by this Scripture. Here's the thought... The only reason "a quarrelsome wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof" is because marriage is considered a lifetime covenant.
Of course, I believe that wives everywhere ought to think about the ways they might be a source of frustration, discouragement, difficulty or plain old annoyance to their husbands, and take steps to correct it. However, the emphasis here is on PERSEVERING in a less than ideal marriage.
Guess what? Less than ideal is the reality of every marriage! If you ever feel like you wish your spouse would stop this or start that, you are not alone. You may very well be living under a "leaky roof." I know it would be easier for you to leave, demand your way or belittle, shame or manipulate your spouse to have things your way. I propose you look at 2 benefits of persevering in your marriage.
- Persevering injects grace into your marriage. Grace says, "I know your faults and I will love you just the same." Grace says, "I know you are not perfect and I will allow my love for you to overcome your sins, faults, inconsistencies and immaturities." Grace, by the way, does not mean you are a doormat to be walked on. Grace confronts sin, BECAUSE your love is immoveable. Grace always contributes to a more healthy and enjoyable marriage. Remember, it is God's grace that brought change in you! Grace accomplishes what complaining or quitting never can. Grace is always a positive step toward your spouse unlike complaining or self-pity.
- Persevering builds essential character in you. There are valuable character qualities that your life and marriage need that can only be developed through persevering. Living with a good attitude in a situation where you don't always get your way is called maturity. It is natural to think selfishly when your spouse is doing something that you don't like. Yet, that may be the very path God uses to shape your character to bring more good into your marriage. I'd be willing to bet that your complaint against your spouse brings out the worst in you. So, here's the question, "what in your character needs work?" If you can take your focus off your spouse's flaws for a minute and take this opportunity for personal growth, you just might move your marriage forward faster. Most people want their spouse to change so they can have a better marriage. Persever in your marriage and change what you are in control of...yourself!
I hope this encourages some of you in a difficult season in marriage. Remember, it's probably just a season. Hang in there, you never know what God will do in your marriage if you just don't quit!