Marriage is a beautiful picture of Jesus and His relationship with His bride, the Church. Many who dive into marriage don’t realize the difference that exists between two individuals who come together to form a new union and the ramifications of that relationship when it is mismanaged. There are so many factors that shape how they have dealt with conflict their whole lives. Their upbringing, their experiences, the example of conflict resolution between parents, and more and more these days the conflict resolution between divorced parents. How do couples lay a foundation of healthy conflict resolution before it’s too late?
We often say that pride, ego, and lust are usually at the core of a life, contrary to the standards of God. To lay a healthy foundation of conflict resolution in marriage, we have realized one of those three (especially) needs to be consistently monitored and dealt with. It is pride! Pride is what gets in the way of true forgiveness. Pride prevents a negatively-bent heart from dealing with an issue in a way that might lead to a dose of humility. Pride keeps couples from expressing what they should express when they struggle to do so. Pride focuses on what “needs” to be said as opposed what needs to be learned. Pride also pauses the desire of one or both spouses to seek a higher good for their marriage or a stage of refuge and restoration.
Susana and I have been married for 14 years now and I can look back and attest to my bouts with pride, especially when conflict arose in marriage. God is sovereign in giving us His truths through His Word to mold us and shape us into first being a follower and lover of His Son Jesus only to see that love overflow into the relationships we have around us. If marriages can truly plant seeds of forgiveness, truly find the right scenario and environment for reconcilitation, truly focus on the utmost aspects of their spouse, truly aim to understand their feelings and concerns, and truly set a strategy of change then we will see marriages thrive and fulfill their purpose as God intended…to bring glory to Him.
Alex & Susana León